I came across this poem and I find it very entertaining, I don’t who wrote it. I caught myself nodding in acknowledgement at some of the points and wonder if there are any blokes out there that agree with the sentiment, ‘It’s tough being a man’?

If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race,
You’re a male chauvinist.
If you stay home and do the housework,
You’re a pansy.

If you work too hard, there is never any time for her,
If you don’t work enough, you’re a good-for-nothing bum.

If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, this is exploitation.
If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay,
you should get off your ass and find a better job.

If you get a promotion ahead of her, that is favouritism.
If she gets a promotion ahead of you, that is equality opportunity.

If you mention how nice she looks, it’s sexual harassment.
If you keep quiet, it’s male indifference.

If you cry, you’re a wimp.
If you don’t, you’re an insensitive b*****d.

If you thump her, it’s wife bashing.
If she thumps you, it’s self defence.

If you make a decision without consulting her, you’re a chauvinist.
If she makes a decision without consulting you, she’s a liberated woman.

If you ask her to do something she doesn’t enjoy, that’s domination.
If she asks you, it’s a favour.

If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear, you’re a pervert.
If you don’t, you’re gay.

If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape, you’re sexist.
If you don’t mind either way, you’re unromantic.

If you try to keep yourself in shape, you’re vain.
If you don’t, you’re a slob.

If you buy her flowers, you’re after something.
If you don’t, you’re not thoughtful enough.

If you’re proud of your achievements, you’re full of yourself.
If you don’t, you’re not ambitious.

If she has a headache, she’s tired.
If you have a headache, you don’t love her anymore.

If you want it too often, you’re oversexed.
If you don’t, there must be someone else.


Fellas, if that has stirred up any emotions, get in touch with me. I run the ‘Big Boys Don’t Cry’ project.

Big Boys Don’t Cry is a therapy service for men that incorporates talking and coaching. It results in you getting things off your chest and learning effective techniques and strategies that give you momentum towards a compelling future.

The ‘Big Boys Don’t Cry’ project is going from strength to strength. I do one-to-one consultations here at my clinic and I’m in the process of putting together some workshops. I am also, increasingly being asked by clients to do sessions in their own homes. I am told that you can feel more at ease to talk or even have a rant, in your own house.


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